Title: Smile for me
Pairing: Arioka Daiki/ Narumi Riko
Rating: PG
Type: One-shot
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: I don't own the both of them.
Summary: Not all fairytales have their happy endings. The princess have to fight her own dragon, because she wants to protect the prince from the pain.
A/N: This is for
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
xsupamotion, since she said that I should write this out. ("I told you that I would screw it up!") It's un-betaed, and there's character death too. And also, xsupamotion , don't kill me please.
Smile for me
12 years ago
Riko padded over to the young boy was sitting in a bean bag chair. “Ne, Dai-chan?” She stood before him, her fingers twisting around each other nervously.
“Hm?” Daiki looked up from the book sitting on his lap, at the little girl with pigtails standing before him with a book clutched to her chest.
There was a light tint of red across her cheeks, before she spoke. “Ne, would you protect me from dragons?”
“Dragons?”
She nodded her head stiffly, albeit nervous. “You know,” She looked down at the book she was holding, before she held it up before him. “The princess in this storybook has her prince. And he saves her from the dragon. So would you protect me from the dragons?” She pulled the book back to her chest, looking at him with wide, innocent eyes.
He tilted his head to the side in confusion, before he realised that her words meant a moment later. Daiki stood up, his lips stretching into a wide smile, as he reached her small hand with his equally small one. “Let’s go get some ice-cream, ne? If you stay with me, the dragons won’t dare to get close to you at all. I’ll protect you.” He said, with a smile through a determined tone.
“Un!” Riko nodded, the corners of her lips tugging upwards into a grin as well.
----------------------------------------
12 years later
Daiki’s POV
“I don’t really like you anymore, Daiki,” She didn’t look at me, her eyes focusing on the ground. It almost seem to me, that the ground was more worthy of her attention than I was.
My hands clenched into fists, as I fought back the tears that were rolling about in my eyes, just threatening to fall. “Liar,” I muttered, the anger in my voice so prominent that I was starting to be afraid of myself. How could she even say that? How could she say that, that she wants to break up with me, when we had promised that we’ll be together forever?
“It’s just, you know, I realised that I’d never love you,” The way she had said it. She made it seem like it didn’t really matter. That she had just told me that she’d never love me.
I could only stand there and watch, as she turned her back on me and left. It was too sudden, all too sudden for me.
All I knew, at that time, was how much I was hurting. How much the pain in my heart intensified by each word that escaped her lips. I know that how heartless she was, for her to say that. What a hypocrite she was, to say that she loves me when she didn’t really mean it. I know that I’ve given her every bit of my heart, only to have it returned, trampled on and broken.
But what I didn’t know was that she was hurting even more than I do. That she had been persistently holding back her tears when she said those words. That she had cried, the moment she was out of my sight. That she really does love me. I didn’t know, that she was hurting me just so that I could have my heart back in full.
----------------------------------------
That was the last time that I saw her. And that was one year ago.
We hadn’t met each other ever since. There has been no contact from her the past few months. I didn’t call her, neither did I go look for her. Because I was mad. Mad at her, mad at everything between us, mad at myself.
But it was the day when her mum appeared on the steps at my door, that everything changed.
She was in tears, and she talked to me. Told me about what had happened. Told me about her illness. Told me that she had left a letter for me, before she passed away.
Riko had passed away.
It all came crashing down on me. Since when did the truth had became so unbearable? People, including me, had always tried to search for the truth. And yet, I realised, that I didn’t want to face it now. Just when the truth is laid out right before my eyes.
I was behaving too calmly. Much too calmly. As her mother stuffed the letter than she had written for me into my hands, she mumbled something that seem to be an address before she left. I didn’t paid attention to it, only looking down at the letter that I was holding tightly, my hands trembling slightly.
It was true that she left me. But unlike what I thought, she didn’t leave me because she didn’t love me anymore. She left me because she loves me. She didn’t want me to suffer along with her. She chose to be quiet and take all the suffering for herself. All because of me. And all I could do here was to blame her for leaving me.
I shouldn’t have left her to be. I should have confronted her; should have forced her to tell me the truth.
But it’s all too late now.
And to think that I once promised her that I will protect her from the dragons.
----------------------------------------
Even though I hadn’t paid attention to the address her mum had mentioned earlier on, but it seem that my mind had registered it clearly. For it was some time later, that I was standing before her grave with a bouquet of her favourite flowers in my arms. It was true. It was true that Riko is not in this world anymore.
I set the flowers down before her gravestone as I knelt down on my knees, before I reached the letter I’ve stuffed into my pocket. I hadn't read the letter yet. Maybe because I wasn't ready yet, or maybe because I couldn't accept the fact that she had already passed away, that I didn't want to read it. But now I am. I want to see, what she had written, although I know that the harsh fact would only be further imprinted into my mind if I did so.
Opening it really delicately, I took out the thin piece of paper that was inside, before unfolding it carefully. The familiar handwriting of hers, was the first thing that I had noticed. I remembered, that we would used to write letters to each other when wewere still young, writing the silliest things that one can write towards each other. And every small detail of her handwriting had been embedded into my mind, since I would read her letters over and over again. Every curve and every line. It only seem to be a pain reminder in my heart.
There were tear stains on her letter, amongst the words that I somehow knew, came from the deepest of her hear. And reading on, seeing the tear stains and imagining how much she had cried, only pounded another nail into my coffin of guilt. I wasn't there. I wasn't there for her when she needed me.
----------------------------------------
To my dearest Daiki:
First of all, I want to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not telling you about my illness. I’m sorry for hurting you like that. But there’s one thing that I want to tell you, something about those words that I ‘ve said.
They’re all lies. I still love you, very much. And I’ll do so until my very last breath, or even after. I’m really, really sorry for not being able to tell you the truth. Because I really didn’t want you to experience any suffering because my illness. I want you to be happy. And when I came to realised that I can’t really give you happiness anymore, I felt that I had to leave. But please believe me, that it had been a painful decision for me as well.
Please do not blame yourself, because I was the one who had made this choice. It’s because I don’t want you to see me like this. It’s only because I know, that you’ll be hurting even more if you had stayed by my side. So just let the healthy and cheerful image of myself remained in your heart forever alright?
But I’m really happy, that I could meet someone like you. Someone that had promised that he’ll protect me from dragons, someone that I could really give my heart too and had also given me his heart in return. If I could return back in time and make my choices all over again, I would still choose to fall in love with you. I would still choose to love you, even if I know that I will have this illness. Just being with you, even for a day or even a few minutes, it’s enough for me. The best thing that had ever happened to me, was to be able to meet you.
I hope that you will be able to find a girl that you really love. Don’t grieve for me okay? I know it’s hard for you to not do so, but I want you to be happy. So please, from now and till forever, live for me; smile for me. I’ll be watching, ne?
Please forgive me, and I love you. Forever and ever.
With love,
Riko
----------------------------------------
I looked up at the small picture. The picture of her, smiling, seem to be a clear one even though my eyes were filled with moisture, tears falling uncontrollably.
Silly girl. Why did she have to be so considerate? Why did she have to put me before herself? Why can she just think of herself just slightly more?
“Baka…” I mumbled, my voice strained from the tightening of my throat, as my fingers brushed against the picture of her smiling face. “Did you think that I just made that promise just so that I could make you feel happy?”
I bit my lip, so hard that I could taste my blood in my mouth, before I buried my face into my hands. Sobs were breaking out from my throat, as I only mumbled one word over and over again to her.
“Sorry…”
"... and I love you."
Smile for me, Dai-chan...
Owari
How was it? I'm sorry if it's really bad, since I wrote this like during lunchtime in school, during lessons yesterday. And I only completed it this morning, at around 7am. So there may be a few mistakes here and there.
But comments are still loved though! ^_^
Pairing: Arioka Daiki/ Narumi Riko
Rating: PG
Type: One-shot
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: I don't own the both of them.
Summary: Not all fairytales have their happy endings. The princess have to fight her own dragon, because she wants to protect the prince from the pain.
A/N: This is for
xsupamotion, since she said that I should write this out. ("I told you that I would screw it up!") It's un-betaed, and there's character death too. And also, xsupamotion , don't kill me please. Smile for me
12 years ago
Riko padded over to the young boy was sitting in a bean bag chair. “Ne, Dai-chan?” She stood before him, her fingers twisting around each other nervously.
“Hm?” Daiki looked up from the book sitting on his lap, at the little girl with pigtails standing before him with a book clutched to her chest.
There was a light tint of red across her cheeks, before she spoke. “Ne, would you protect me from dragons?”
“Dragons?”
She nodded her head stiffly, albeit nervous. “You know,” She looked down at the book she was holding, before she held it up before him. “The princess in this storybook has her prince. And he saves her from the dragon. So would you protect me from the dragons?” She pulled the book back to her chest, looking at him with wide, innocent eyes.
He tilted his head to the side in confusion, before he realised that her words meant a moment later. Daiki stood up, his lips stretching into a wide smile, as he reached her small hand with his equally small one. “Let’s go get some ice-cream, ne? If you stay with me, the dragons won’t dare to get close to you at all. I’ll protect you.” He said, with a smile through a determined tone.
“Un!” Riko nodded, the corners of her lips tugging upwards into a grin as well.
----------------------------------------
12 years later
Daiki’s POV
“I don’t really like you anymore, Daiki,” She didn’t look at me, her eyes focusing on the ground. It almost seem to me, that the ground was more worthy of her attention than I was.
My hands clenched into fists, as I fought back the tears that were rolling about in my eyes, just threatening to fall. “Liar,” I muttered, the anger in my voice so prominent that I was starting to be afraid of myself. How could she even say that? How could she say that, that she wants to break up with me, when we had promised that we’ll be together forever?
“It’s just, you know, I realised that I’d never love you,” The way she had said it. She made it seem like it didn’t really matter. That she had just told me that she’d never love me.
I could only stand there and watch, as she turned her back on me and left. It was too sudden, all too sudden for me.
All I knew, at that time, was how much I was hurting. How much the pain in my heart intensified by each word that escaped her lips. I know that how heartless she was, for her to say that. What a hypocrite she was, to say that she loves me when she didn’t really mean it. I know that I’ve given her every bit of my heart, only to have it returned, trampled on and broken.
But what I didn’t know was that she was hurting even more than I do. That she had been persistently holding back her tears when she said those words. That she had cried, the moment she was out of my sight. That she really does love me. I didn’t know, that she was hurting me just so that I could have my heart back in full.
----------------------------------------
That was the last time that I saw her. And that was one year ago.
We hadn’t met each other ever since. There has been no contact from her the past few months. I didn’t call her, neither did I go look for her. Because I was mad. Mad at her, mad at everything between us, mad at myself.
But it was the day when her mum appeared on the steps at my door, that everything changed.
She was in tears, and she talked to me. Told me about what had happened. Told me about her illness. Told me that she had left a letter for me, before she passed away.
Riko had passed away.
It all came crashing down on me. Since when did the truth had became so unbearable? People, including me, had always tried to search for the truth. And yet, I realised, that I didn’t want to face it now. Just when the truth is laid out right before my eyes.
I was behaving too calmly. Much too calmly. As her mother stuffed the letter than she had written for me into my hands, she mumbled something that seem to be an address before she left. I didn’t paid attention to it, only looking down at the letter that I was holding tightly, my hands trembling slightly.
It was true that she left me. But unlike what I thought, she didn’t leave me because she didn’t love me anymore. She left me because she loves me. She didn’t want me to suffer along with her. She chose to be quiet and take all the suffering for herself. All because of me. And all I could do here was to blame her for leaving me.
I shouldn’t have left her to be. I should have confronted her; should have forced her to tell me the truth.
But it’s all too late now.
And to think that I once promised her that I will protect her from the dragons.
----------------------------------------
Even though I hadn’t paid attention to the address her mum had mentioned earlier on, but it seem that my mind had registered it clearly. For it was some time later, that I was standing before her grave with a bouquet of her favourite flowers in my arms. It was true. It was true that Riko is not in this world anymore.
I set the flowers down before her gravestone as I knelt down on my knees, before I reached the letter I’ve stuffed into my pocket. I hadn't read the letter yet. Maybe because I wasn't ready yet, or maybe because I couldn't accept the fact that she had already passed away, that I didn't want to read it. But now I am. I want to see, what she had written, although I know that the harsh fact would only be further imprinted into my mind if I did so.
Opening it really delicately, I took out the thin piece of paper that was inside, before unfolding it carefully. The familiar handwriting of hers, was the first thing that I had noticed. I remembered, that we would used to write letters to each other when wewere still young, writing the silliest things that one can write towards each other. And every small detail of her handwriting had been embedded into my mind, since I would read her letters over and over again. Every curve and every line. It only seem to be a pain reminder in my heart.
There were tear stains on her letter, amongst the words that I somehow knew, came from the deepest of her hear. And reading on, seeing the tear stains and imagining how much she had cried, only pounded another nail into my coffin of guilt. I wasn't there. I wasn't there for her when she needed me.
----------------------------------------
To my dearest Daiki:
First of all, I want to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not telling you about my illness. I’m sorry for hurting you like that. But there’s one thing that I want to tell you, something about those words that I ‘ve said.
They’re all lies. I still love you, very much. And I’ll do so until my very last breath, or even after. I’m really, really sorry for not being able to tell you the truth. Because I really didn’t want you to experience any suffering because my illness. I want you to be happy. And when I came to realised that I can’t really give you happiness anymore, I felt that I had to leave. But please believe me, that it had been a painful decision for me as well.
Please do not blame yourself, because I was the one who had made this choice. It’s because I don’t want you to see me like this. It’s only because I know, that you’ll be hurting even more if you had stayed by my side. So just let the healthy and cheerful image of myself remained in your heart forever alright?
But I’m really happy, that I could meet someone like you. Someone that had promised that he’ll protect me from dragons, someone that I could really give my heart too and had also given me his heart in return. If I could return back in time and make my choices all over again, I would still choose to fall in love with you. I would still choose to love you, even if I know that I will have this illness. Just being with you, even for a day or even a few minutes, it’s enough for me. The best thing that had ever happened to me, was to be able to meet you.
I hope that you will be able to find a girl that you really love. Don’t grieve for me okay? I know it’s hard for you to not do so, but I want you to be happy. So please, from now and till forever, live for me; smile for me. I’ll be watching, ne?
Please forgive me, and I love you. Forever and ever.
With love,
Riko
----------------------------------------
I looked up at the small picture. The picture of her, smiling, seem to be a clear one even though my eyes were filled with moisture, tears falling uncontrollably.
Silly girl. Why did she have to be so considerate? Why did she have to put me before herself? Why can she just think of herself just slightly more?
“Baka…” I mumbled, my voice strained from the tightening of my throat, as my fingers brushed against the picture of her smiling face. “Did you think that I just made that promise just so that I could make you feel happy?”
I bit my lip, so hard that I could taste my blood in my mouth, before I buried my face into my hands. Sobs were breaking out from my throat, as I only mumbled one word over and over again to her.
“Sorry…”
"... and I love you."
Smile for me, Dai-chan...
Owari
How was it? I'm sorry if it's really bad, since I wrote this like during lunchtime in school, during lessons yesterday. And I only completed it this morning, at around 7am. So there may be a few mistakes here and there.
But comments are still loved though! ^_^
Current Mood: tired
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